I wonder just how far I would have followed You.
Sure, to the room where You would have washed my feet.
To the table where You would have fed me. Yes. I’d take and eat.
To the place where You prayed I would have gone. But would I have slept while You wept over Your purpose.
I wonder just how far?
Would I have followed You until it cost me? Denied I knew You? Would I have stayed close by, or closed off and hidden?
Would I have followed You to the cross? Been there to cry with Your mother? Comfort her deepest grief?
Or would I have been more concerned with my own comfort? Protection?
I wonder just how far.
Would I have stayed to wrap Your broken body? Perfumed it for its rest? Or would I have been long gone with the rest of Your chosen?
I think I know the answers, yet I’m too ashamed to speak them out loud. Grateful that You know my heart and You love me anyway.
But on this side of the cross, Lord, I choose to follow You. And my heart’s desire is to follow you all the way to ‘Not my will but Thine.’

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